An experpt (p15 and p16) from a very funny book,

 Lessons from Cats for Surviving Fascism | Hardcover

Stewart Reynolds

Grand Central Publishing

Humor / Form - Parodies / Literary Criticism / American / Self- 
Help / Personal Growth - Happiness

9781538778005

"
Cats despise collars.

Cats hate wearing anything.

Sure, they might look cute for a moment - maybe even Instagram-
worthy-but deep down, every cat knows what a collar really   
represents: control.

The tiny bell jingling with every step? Surveillance.

The snug fit? Domination.

Cats aren't fooled, and neither should we be.

Fascists love collars, metaphorically speaking. They're  
obsessed with finding ways to make people wear them, often by  
dressing them up as something "necessary" or even  
"fashionable." "Oh, it's  for your own good!" they chirp,  
jingling the societal equivalent  of a little bell. "Look how  
it makes you a better citizen!" But  much like a cat, you  
should pause, stare at the collar, and then  swat it off the  
table with a look of utter disdain.

Fascists, let's be honest, are a bit like overzealous dog  
owners  who think every living being needs to be leashed. "Why  
aren't they wearing their collar?" they demand, clutching their  
red ball  caps. "How will we know where they're going or what  
they're doing?" The thought of someone walking freely through  
life, uncollared, untethered, and entirely unpredictable, sends  
them into a spiral of existential dread.

Cats, however, refuse to be restrained. Even when they  
grudgingly wear a collar, they'll spend every waking moment  
plotting its removal.

You can practically hear them thinking, Oh, you believe this
little pink band of oppression will stop me? And that's the
energy we need to channel. It's not just about rejecting  
literal collars - it's about rejecting anything that tries to  
disguise control as convenience. A bell around your neck so the  
fascists can always find you? No, thank you.

The funny thing is, fascists aren't even good at making collars
look appealing. Their idea of a "cute accessory" is usually
something drab and joyless, like a uniform or a badge that
screams, "I have no personality!" And yet, they can't  
understand why people don't line up to wear them. You can  
almost picture the confusion: "Why don't they like the collar?  
It's so practical! It's so efficient!" Meanwhile, the cats of  
the world are lounging in their collar-free glory, silently  
laughing at the absurdity of it all.

The trick is to question every collar you're handed, no matter
how harmless it seems. Is it really just a harmless accessory,  
or is it a way to keep you in line?

Cats know the answer instinctively.

That's why they'd rather dart across busy streets, untagged and
unbothered, than let someone slap a leash on them. It's not  
just about freedom - it's about the principle of the thing.

So, the next time someone tries to slip a metaphorical collar
around your neck - whether it's a rule, a label, or a demand  
for conformity - channel your inner cat. Give them that  
signature feline look of disdain that says, "I don't think so,  
moron," and walk away, preferably in the direction of a sunny  
windowsill where you can nap undisturbed.

Because at the end of the day, life isn't meant to be lived  
with a bell around your neck and someone else holding the  
leash. Be uncollared undisturbed.
Be free.

"

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